


Feel My Pain (The bad ending of Nightfever)

by the_lie_eternal



Series: You're burning with Nightfever [3]
Category: Eisbrecher, Poets of the Fall
Genre: AU, Bad Ending, Bloody, Death, Guns, M/M, Trigger warning death, Violence, this is sad I warn you, trigger warning blood, trigger warning emotional shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:11:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19331530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_lie_eternal/pseuds/the_lie_eternal
Summary: The bad ending of "Nightfever", what would've happened if the Gothkillers had actually gotten their hands on Rupert.





	Feel My Pain (The bad ending of Nightfever)

**Author's Note:**

> The “What if Jürgen and Alexander captured Rupert” of Nightfever  
> Sets in in the middle of Chapter 9 of Nightfever “All of Nothing”  
> […]  
> “Keplinger.” I heard Jürgen exclaiming, his and his colleagues’ silhouette appearing at the end of the street.  
> “Plangger, you piece of shit.” I hissed and crackled my finger bones, walking into the direction of our persecutors.  
> “We used to be friends, remember?” he laughed and rested his hand on his belt. I could see the holster – quickly I checked Alexander for any weapons, negative. I needed to get as close to Jürgen as possible. I knew how to unweapon someone, I knew how to one-hit someone but this small street made it extremely difficult. This had to work, it had to. There was no second try.

The move, the small and subtle move that always worked to unweapon someone, in exactly this moment I was only half a second too slow. Jürgen smashed the gun against my head and I fell into Alexander’s grip, escaping it is a task impossible. It had to happen.

My feelings made me do regrettable things and this had definitely been one of the most regrettable ones, ending my life quite literally.

“Easy, boy. I knew you were going to crawl back in our arms quickly again.” Alexander laughed and tightened the grip around my arms, I could already feel the bruises he left on them. It took me some more seconds to sort out my thoughts after the hit again, muttering a pained “J-Jari …” towards Jürgen. It was silent for a short amount of time, I let my gaze wander over to my lover. He was trembling and crying. Did he know how much I loved him?

“Your boyfriend, huh?” Jürgen murmured and looked into the same direction as I did. His voice sounded so gentle all of a sudden. “We won’t hurt him, all we want is you and your living body. Go on, but don’t think I hesitate to shoot you if you try to do something unforeseen.” he stated and nodded at Alexander, whose hands let go of me and all I did was running towards Jari, wrapping my arms around him. I didn’t even think about the both Gothkillers watching us in that moment, all I wanted Jari to know was that I loved him.

He sobbed into my shoulder, I never heard him crying like this ever before. I cried too, yes, but this was about Jari, not me.

“They are not going to hurt you. But … but …” I had the words stuck in my throat as I finally realized that I was going to die. There was no way around it. I was going to die.

“You didn’t prepare me for this. I’m not going to let you go.” he sobbed into my shoulder and I felt his nails deeply scratching into my back.

“I didn’t prepare you for this.” I repeated his words, wrapping both my hands around his cheeks, grabbing his face off my soaked shoulder to look into his eyes.

“You’re bleeding.” he muttered, grabbing a tissue out of his pocket before pressing it against the spot Jürgen’s gun hit me moments before. I loved his eyes, I hoped to remember them in the afterlife. “You’re so stupid.” Jari added, leaning his face into the direction of mine.

We kissed and it was not the fact I wouldn’t be alive by dusk that I felt like this was the best kiss in my life. I don’t know how long it lasted, but Jari had a pained smile on his face as we parted.

“I should’ve never gotten into a relationship with you, should’ve never fallen in love with you. How do you expect me to handle this? Do you expect me to be chill while they drag you off to die? Do you expect me to just keep going and life happily after?” Jari began shouting and his smile turned into a face full of hate, pain and tears. Just after he threw the last words at me, he fell back into my arms and began crying again.

There was a difference between him and me.

I learnt to accept the arrival of death, I was never afraid of my last day and I was ready since I joined the gang that would kill me off one day.

Jari never even considered it. He should’ve never fallen in love with me, that was the truth. I tried to not think about his fate, not thinking about what happes to him once they dragged me off. It wasn’t in my power anymore and there was nothing I could do for Jari, nothing that would ease his pain or make his life any easier.

“Idiot, stupid idiot!” he screamed into my shoulder, hitting his fist against the other. I knew Jari was coping with hate, did that several times already and I was aware that he didn’t mean it. I dared to take a look at my enemies, both of them seemingly avoided the direct look at the happening. We were still friends, deep inside of our rotten and destroyed bodies. We all watched our best friend dying on the field, we all shared the same trauma deep inside of us.

“Jari.” I muttered, slowly lowering my grip around him. He looked at me, empty eyed and it was visible that his will to live left him in the exact same moment. I tried to not think about his future and what was going to happen … I tried to not imagine it … I really tried.

“Take it and use it. Don’t look back and just go, go back to Finland, go back where you are safe and have people who can take care of you.” I exclaimed and gently pushed my fist with my baton in it against his chest. I wouldn’t need it anymore. Hesitatingly he grabbed the metal stick, firmly holding it in his hand.

“Promise me to never forget that I love you. I always loved you and I always will love you, no matter where we will meet again.” my voice trembled and it hurt me to say it, it hurt me to speak those horrible words at him.

“I promise, love, I promise. I love you.” he replied, surprisingly stable, before pulling me into another kiss, our last kiss in this life.

 

The next moment I found myself tied up and gagged in the back of Alexander’s shitty and old car. I didn’t think about Jari anymore, I didn’t want to become crazy, not at this point. Somehow I fell asleep and the next thing I remembered was Jürgen beating against the window, waking me up. The sight of the crumbling and dirty façade of the building I knew too well made me shiver.

Way too gentle Jürgen pulled me off the back seat, the judging gazes of the gang members cut thousands of holes into me. Rupert Keplinger, the greatest member the Gothkillers ever had, the only one that would had been worthy to take Noel’s spot one day – tied up like the criminal he was, lead in front of the gazing crowd like a cheap trophy. I hated this feeling and I had all reasons to.

 

“Rupert … oh god, how could this happen.” I heard Pix’ voice and cramped up my fists. I wanted to kill him, to push him off his dirty throne. I found myself in the middle of the main hall, the great leader stepping towards me. I felt the crowd gathering around us, watching Noel taming the wild wolf.

Carefully he opened the cloth tied around my mouth and immediately I spat onto him, that’s what he deserved. He didn’t even flinch. It was dead silent in the hall, hundreds of people and nobody said a single word.

“Why, why did you do this? You were my best man, you would’ve been my follow up, you would’ve been leader of the Gothkillers one day.” Pix muttered and eyed me from head to toe.

“You don’t even dare to shoot me by yourself, idiot.” I hissed with a smirk. Usually he was always the one to execute the fleeing birds but I knew he wouldn’t dare to end my life by himself.

“Which is why I let Jürgen do it, your closest friend.” he stated and I too knew that JP didn’t want to shoot me either.

“I’m not, boss. You can’t force me to shoot him and don’t even try to ask Alex.” said man explained and I saw the panic in Pix’ eyes. Questioning him in front of his people, I enjoyed this moment the few seconds it lasted.

“Idiot.” he hissed and pulled his gun out of the holster. He would do it but he wasn’t happy with it. This must’ve been the first time he cursed his own principles.

“Got any last words, traitor?” he hissed and already placed his finger on the trigger.

 _“There is nobody but myself to change me. There is nobody but myself to pay for my mistakes. There is nobody but myself to get what I desire most. I do not wish for freedom, for independence or power. All I wish and live for is nobody but myself – I do not rely on family, I do not rely on friends, I do not rely on love. This will be my home, for now and always. I will support my fellow Gothkillers, for now and always. I will never quit and I accept the fate that is giving my life. There is nobody but myself to become who I am supposed to be, now and for every new day to come.”_ I muttered and stared into Noel’s eyes and took a last deep breath before the great leader of the glorious Gothkillers screamed out my name in anger before shooting at me.

And my last thought was dedicated to my lover, and that I will always love him.

**Author's Note:**

> It is unsure what happened to Jari after Rupert left. The reader can imagine by themself. I personally have my own idea ...


End file.
